Hey Reader!

I want to talk about the assumptions you’re making at work that are getting in your way.

Someone didn’t finish a task when you wanted it done. Someone didn’t respond the way you thought they would. Someone didn’t take something as seriously as you do. Someone didn’t help you the way you needed. The list goes on.

No matter what the situation, when I go through the steps with my clients or my employees who are bothered by the behavior of their coworkers, customers, vendors, etc. it ALWAYS boils down to one common issue.

Expectations that were not properly communicated.

The #1 reason you’re not communicating expectations properly is because you’re making too many assumptions about the other person.

You’re not telling them when you want the task completed because you assume they already know. Or you assume how much time it will take them. Or you assume how they will prioritize their time.

You’re thrown off by how someone responded because you assume how they will receive and react to the information. You assume they will think/behave like you do. You assume they will think/behave exactly how they did before.

You’re unhappy when someone doesn’t take something seriously because you assume they know the importance of it. You assume they treat it as importantly as you do. You assume that they don’t have anything else of equal or higher importance.

You’re disappointed someone didn’t help you because you assume they knew you needed help. You assume they knew how best to help you. You assume they knew when to help you.

It isn’t a problem that you make assumptions, we all do. It is a problem, however, if you continue to allow them to get in your way and affect your mood at work. This is 100% in your control and you have the ability to do something about this today!

There are two easy ways to do this in every situation.

1. Ask clarifying questions to make sure your expectations are realistic.
2. Communicate your expectations and the why so that the other person is fully aware.

This looks exactly like active listening, compassion/grace for other people’s priorities, getting to know someone, letting someone get to know you, and intentional collaborative communication.

Stop getting in your own way and start having more effective conversations!

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Check it Out!

1. ​Check out the book Conversational Intelligence by Judith E. Glaser.
2. ​Visit a virtual Toastmasters meeting to practice active listening and speaking with confidence. Next meeting is Wed 3/22 at 6:30 pm MST.
3. ​Take the quiz to see how to improve your communication skills.

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What Would Jovita Do?

I'm not immune to disappointment. It f*cking sucks! It can easily lead to a bunch of self-doubt and negative self-talk. I don’t let it. Instead, I use it as a gauge to adjust my expectations accordingly. Remember, lowering/adjusting your expectations is NOT the same thing as lowering your standards.

First, I identify why this result is bothering me. This goes back to my EQ journal and asking the 3 why’s to pinpoint my emotional triggers.

Then, I ask myself what could I do differently to get a different result. Is there something I could learn? Can I ask more specific questions? Can I use a different approach? Am I focusing on things outside of my control?

Finally, I prepare myself in case I get the same result again. If I don’t want my mood to be so negatively impacted, I need to be emotionally prepared if the same thing happens. That simply means deciding in advance what I will do so that I am proactive rather than reactive.

Pro Tip

As always, one of the best ways to answer these questions is by getting immediate and specific feedback. That way you can prioritize what actions to take on your end instead of making even more assumptions. If you’re not sure how to get started or what to do differently then get help from your mentors and coaches.

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Make today great!