Hey Reader!

This week’s focus is all about connecting with your colleagues. I understand that everyone is not comfortable with the thought of networking, getting to know the people they work with, or being chummy with their boss. However, connection is a big part of career development, fulfillment in your contributions to the team, and a sense of belonging. These are the outcomes we want and need, but have to push ourselves out of our comfort zones in order to achieve.

Look, I won’t sugarcoat it. Being vulnerable always feels awkward - for everyone, all the time! Connecting with someone means you have to open up about yourself. At work we tend to resist doing that more because we have an image/brand/perception we want to maintain. We want to be seen as competent, capable, productive, and certainly don’t like discussing our mistakes or emotions. However, when we have our guard up too much it can backfire. We’ll struggle to build trust, credibility, collaboration, and commitment.

Think about it. In our relationships outside of work - spouse, family, friends - we don’t trust or even like people who appear “perfect”. We might think they’re lying, that they can’t accept or admit their mistakes, that they’re not relatable; and so we distance ourselves from them. The goal then is not trying to appear perfect in your relationships (at work or otherwise), but to build connections where you can just be you and for others to accept you as you are - flaws and all! That means you have to accept yourself first.

Recently, I was honored to be a guest on Jenny Alday Townsend’s Stroke It podcast. Stroking It to her is all about nurturing relationships for better outcomes with spouse, family, friends, and even coworkers. In this episode, I answer her questions about how to use your voice and build better rapport with people at work.

Start small this week. I want you to reach out to a coworker you don’t usually speak with and spend some time chatting, listening, and genuinely connecting. This doesn’t have to be more than a 10 minute convo. Just try it and see how it feels. Not so scary right?!

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Check it Out!

Don’t become the person at work that people avoid. Watch my quick video here to find out “Do Your CoWorkers Like You?”

Don’t let being unapproachable hold you back in your career. It’s easy to fix with a few tips I share in the video.

What Would Jovita Do?

I used to think that I needed a “work Jovita” and an “off-work Jovita”. Two different personalities. Where the “work Jovita” was always busy, trying to find improvements, demonstrate my skills in all areas, and never engaged in frivolous chit chat or water cooler talk with my coworkers. “Off work Jovita” was when I’d have fun and be myself, so I thought I didn’t need to do that at work. I used to say, I was at work to work.

Eventually though, it wore me out trying to maintain these two different personalities. It was tiring trying to be so careful not to show my coworkers who I really am. It also made work less enjoyable. I didn’t feel like I belonged, but if someone did have a connection with me, I didn’t trust it because I thought ‘well they don’t know the real me anyways’. It’s why so many times we have “work friends” and then never talk to them again when one person leaves the job.

I realized, that I needed to accept who I was and stop trying to be this “work Jovita” that wasn’t actually a good representation of me. Also, I had to stop assuming what people would think about me and give them a chance to form their own opinion. What I didn’t expect, is how much this increased my confidence. It helped me craft my voice and feel comfortable using it at work and outside of work. I stopped worrying about what people thought because it felt so good being myself.

Pro Tip

It’s normal to have different types of relationships. Just be careful that you’re staying aligned to yourself in each. When it comes to work relationships, it can be challenging knowing how much to share so it doesn’t make you uncomfortable at work or negatively impact your brand. Here are some easy safe topics to get you started: music, movies, books, podcasts, favorite quotes, sports, pets, cooking/recipes, plants.

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Go get started and make today great!